Happy Mothers Day - The perfect card
About three weeks ago I was in the Hallmark store in Palm Desert looking for an anniversary card for my bride...After I found what I wanted I noticed that they had the Mothers Day cards out. In the past I always waited until several days before Mothers Day to look for a card and by that time all of the good ones were picked over and I always felt that the cards I ended up buying were just not good enough. This time I was going to be ahead of the game and get the perfect card.
I spent the next hour going over all of the cards they had out and finally ended up with the one that came closest to all the things I wanted to say. The front cover was by Thomas Kinkade and was reprinted on clear plastic. It showed a beautiful garden with an iron gate partially open and four large stone steps leading up and through the gate. When you opened the card the first page said "A Mothers Day Message Between Two Hearts"...And the inside conveyed some of my heartfelt feelings..."Perfect", I thought...Bought the card and was on my way. After I signed the anniversary card I put the Mothers Day card on the floor behind the driver's seat with some of my other work paperwork thinking that I would take it into the house when my bride wasn't looking.
I'm in the habit of buying 44 oz. refills of diet coke and sipping on these refills during the day. I normally place these drinks in the cup holder next to the driver's seat while I drive and several days later was no exception...Except that it was pouring rain as I drove through Beaumont on my way home...I was distracted by the weather and some of the idiot driving that you see in this kind of weather and as I took a sip I reached and thought I placed the drink in the holder...It was several minutes later when I reached for the drink again that I realized I missed the cup holder and the drink was upside down on the floor behind me. I grabbed for the overturned cup and when I picked it up I realized that it was empty...There wasn't much I could do in the rain at 60 MPH except cuss my luck and the fact that my perfect card was going to be wet ( I KNEW I should have put it away right after I got it). Finally, when I was able to stop I reached for the card...Sure enough the Hallmark bag was soaked...As I ripped it away I breathed a sigh of relief...Only the back of the card was sopping wet...The writing inside and the front of the card were all dry and safe but the envelope suffered a lot of damage and the glue was all washed off...OK, how could I salvage this? Luckily Marlen had a hair appointment and wasn't home when I got there so I beat it into the bathroom and used the hairdryer on the back of the card to get it dry...Then I worked on the envelope. When I finally got everything dried I started to think damage control...I toyed with going to get another card...But would I find this same card again? The good ones always go fast. Well, lets look at the situation...The card seemed OK except for the back of it...It was all crinkly and stained with the diet coke color...Same with the envelope...It didn't look too bad but the stain was a dead giveaway...How could I treat this? Bleach!!!...It takes out stains...Maybe it would work?... I hurried to the kitchen, reached under the sink and got the Clorox Clean Up Cleaner and Bleach and sprayed it on the back of the card, went back to the bathroom and used the good old hair dryer again...OK, not bad, you couldn't see the stain on the back but the inside of the card was still coke dyed...Another treatment on the inside, more drying...Looking good. Then I noticed that some of the writing on the back of the card was bleached out...OK, well, not too bad...Who reads the back of the cards anyway? Next the envelope...This was really tough...The glue was all gone and so was the stain but the envelope was definitely all crinkly...Not good. I toyed with getting the iron out and trying to iron the card and envelope but I was out of time...I heard Marlen drive into the driveway so I got the card and envelope and put them between the pages of a book so they could slow dry and get flattened out and hid it all in my underwear drawer in the dresser...Hopefully when I gave her the card she would never notice.
She noticed...
I guess the Scotch Tape holding the envelope flap closed might have given it away but when I saw the "what the hell is this?" look on her face I knew I had to come clean. " I guess you noticed the wear and tear on the card " I said..." Well, I thought it looked a little beat up " she said, " but I didn't think it would be polite to ask...I just thought that maybe you found a new discount card shop...".
The rest of the day went better...We had a late lunch at BJ's...The service was slow so we took our time, laughed a lot, reminisced about life, love and family and had an extra drink or two...skoal!!!...And Happy Mothers Day.
I spent the next hour going over all of the cards they had out and finally ended up with the one that came closest to all the things I wanted to say. The front cover was by Thomas Kinkade and was reprinted on clear plastic. It showed a beautiful garden with an iron gate partially open and four large stone steps leading up and through the gate. When you opened the card the first page said "A Mothers Day Message Between Two Hearts"...And the inside conveyed some of my heartfelt feelings..."Perfect", I thought...Bought the card and was on my way. After I signed the anniversary card I put the Mothers Day card on the floor behind the driver's seat with some of my other work paperwork thinking that I would take it into the house when my bride wasn't looking.
I'm in the habit of buying 44 oz. refills of diet coke and sipping on these refills during the day. I normally place these drinks in the cup holder next to the driver's seat while I drive and several days later was no exception...Except that it was pouring rain as I drove through Beaumont on my way home...I was distracted by the weather and some of the idiot driving that you see in this kind of weather and as I took a sip I reached and thought I placed the drink in the holder...It was several minutes later when I reached for the drink again that I realized I missed the cup holder and the drink was upside down on the floor behind me. I grabbed for the overturned cup and when I picked it up I realized that it was empty...There wasn't much I could do in the rain at 60 MPH except cuss my luck and the fact that my perfect card was going to be wet ( I KNEW I should have put it away right after I got it). Finally, when I was able to stop I reached for the card...Sure enough the Hallmark bag was soaked...As I ripped it away I breathed a sigh of relief...Only the back of the card was sopping wet...The writing inside and the front of the card were all dry and safe but the envelope suffered a lot of damage and the glue was all washed off...OK, how could I salvage this? Luckily Marlen had a hair appointment and wasn't home when I got there so I beat it into the bathroom and used the hairdryer on the back of the card to get it dry...Then I worked on the envelope. When I finally got everything dried I started to think damage control...I toyed with going to get another card...But would I find this same card again? The good ones always go fast. Well, lets look at the situation...The card seemed OK except for the back of it...It was all crinkly and stained with the diet coke color...Same with the envelope...It didn't look too bad but the stain was a dead giveaway...How could I treat this? Bleach!!!...It takes out stains...Maybe it would work?... I hurried to the kitchen, reached under the sink and got the Clorox Clean Up Cleaner and Bleach and sprayed it on the back of the card, went back to the bathroom and used the good old hair dryer again...OK, not bad, you couldn't see the stain on the back but the inside of the card was still coke dyed...Another treatment on the inside, more drying...Looking good. Then I noticed that some of the writing on the back of the card was bleached out...OK, well, not too bad...Who reads the back of the cards anyway? Next the envelope...This was really tough...The glue was all gone and so was the stain but the envelope was definitely all crinkly...Not good. I toyed with getting the iron out and trying to iron the card and envelope but I was out of time...I heard Marlen drive into the driveway so I got the card and envelope and put them between the pages of a book so they could slow dry and get flattened out and hid it all in my underwear drawer in the dresser...Hopefully when I gave her the card she would never notice.
She noticed...
I guess the Scotch Tape holding the envelope flap closed might have given it away but when I saw the "what the hell is this?" look on her face I knew I had to come clean. " I guess you noticed the wear and tear on the card " I said..." Well, I thought it looked a little beat up " she said, " but I didn't think it would be polite to ask...I just thought that maybe you found a new discount card shop...".
The rest of the day went better...We had a late lunch at BJ's...The service was slow so we took our time, laughed a lot, reminisced about life, love and family and had an extra drink or two...skoal!!!...And Happy Mothers Day.
posted by Dad Merk at 9:29 PM
3 comments
